How to Make a Baby

Given I’ve just had a baby (which explains the lack of recent content!) this was a fun story to write as I’ve just been through the explanation of how to make a baby with my three year old. This is also my first children’s story not written in rhyme. Enjoy 🙂

How to Make a Baby

By Corrina Campbell

I really really really want a baby.

One that is mine and one that I can call my very very own.

All my friends seem to have new babies. Little baby brothers and little baby sisters and one of my friends even got two babies at the same time!

They get to play with them, and they feed them and they take them out for long walks in the buggy.

My friends make their babies smile by singing songs or telling funny stories or blowing slobbery raspberries.

I will definitely be able to make my baby smile.

I am going to make a baby.

I love makings things. I’ve made a rocket, and a robot and I have made a cake with icing.  It was really good because everybody ate it.   I have even made butterflies (well, kind of, they were caterpillers and I fed them and looked after them and they became butterflies).

Making a baby should be easy.  First I just need to figure out what the ingredients are. My Mummy tells me that when they made me they used eggs from her and seeds from Daddy so I write this down…




Hang on a minute. This cant be right. There must be more ingredients needed to make a baby?  My baby will need eyes to see me, and ears.  My baby will need a nose and a mouth, not forgetting fingers and toes AND I most definitely want my baby to have hair that I can brush.

I take a minute to think. Then I know exactly what to do and add to my list of ingredients;




2 cherry tomatoes for eyes

1 sausage for the nose

1 banana for the smiley mouth

spaghetti for the hair

10 carrot sticks for fingers

10 grapes for toes


Done. Now, time to start making my baby.

I carefully collect two eggs from my Mummy’s fridge. That’s where she keeps her eggs.

My Daddy keeps his seeds out in the garden shed. He has loads of different seeds that he usually uses to grow flowers and vegetables.   It is a bit strange that he uses seeds to grow flowers and to make babies…but then my Daddy does lots of strange things (like the time he tried to ride my bike even though it’s obviously too small for him.)

It’s really quite tricky choosing the right seeds for my baby.  I thought there would be an obvious packet with babies on the front but instead all I see is flowers and vegetables.  I wonder if this is why I had heard that babies can grow in a cabbage patch?  I think carefully, what colour of baby do I want?  There are loads of colours to choose from.

This is definitely harder than I thought.

At first I think I should chose the pink and the blue seeds, since apparently those are baby colours, but as my favourite colour is yellow I pick the yellow ones.

Taking a large bowl I crack the eggs and mix in the seeds. It does not look like a baby.

Maybe if I add some flour, like a cake, that will help?

It’s thick and gloopy but I feel confident that if I put it in the oven it may still turn into a baby so I add my final ingredients…

2 cherry tomatoes

1 sausage

1 banana

A handful of spaghetti

10 carrot sticks


10 grapes


Mix Mix Mix.


I gently pour out my baby mixture into a dish that can go into the oven and shout my Mummy.

(I am not allowed to put things in the oven without her)

“Mummy, I am making a baby”

I expected her to help me pop it in the oven. I thought that she would help turn my ingredients into a baby.  I assumed that the hard part was done but it turns out I can’t make a baby.

(Well not yet anyway, because I am too little)

Mummy’s eggs are actually inside her tummy and not in the fridge


Daddy’s seeds are actually inside him too and not in the shed.

What a disaster.

Mummy says I shouldn’t feel sad because her and Daddy would like a baby too and that there is one growing inside her tummy right now.

Mummy says that I will get to feed the baby and play with the baby AND take the baby for long walks in the buggy.

Mummy also says I make her smile all the time so she knows that I will definitely make the baby smile too.

So I am happy to leave the baby making to Mummy and Daddy because they seem to be doing a pretty good job of it.

(Look how awesome I turned out)

And anyways, I really really really want a dog.

“Mummy, how do you make a dog?”


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